Mistake after mistake.

Have you ever made a mistake and then thought, “Oh, I won’t do it again,” and then only to do it repeatedly. I think my relationship was doomed from the start. I am pretty sure that I was the first one to mess up, or maybe he was by not just asking me out first before his friend did, either way, it started with a mistake. I think from the very beginning that it wasn’t right. So, now it’s six and a half years later and we are still making mistakes that are preventing us from really moving forward together. I love him, really I do, with all that I am and could possibly ever be, I love him. But what do you do when neither is willing to really let go and start being what we could be. I sound cryptic and all over the place, but it’s been years since I have written down my thoughts and I am all over the place. I promise, I will get better. Oh, who am I kidding, nobody is even going to read this but me. We’ve recently hit a snag as a couple…the what comes next in our lives. I got lost on the way to today, I think I let myself go, not just my body but also my mind. We aren’t engaged. We live together. We both are looking for something permanent of our own. This is the worst thing I have ever written, but I am going to publish it anyways because it’s my starting point. I think I will just end this here, it’s completely awful but I am distracted by my dog and my 2 cats. I’ll be back.

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